The world is full of them. Idiots:  those unwashed masses who infiltrate our existence, either oblivious to their idiocy or reveling in it. It seems their numbers are increasing too, if internet chat rooms are any indication. That, or the human condition is disintegrating before our collective eyes.

For those inquiring minds wishing to have clarity on what constitutes my definition of idiot, I present for your inspection, the following list.

         * the prepubescent horny boys who think they are well-endowed horny men and insist on trolling the chat rooms for cybersex

         * the teenybopper girls who think they are “Hot” and feel the need to “share” that information to all of chat-dom.

         * Pedophiles …. need I say more?

         * Cheating husbands/wives/boyfriends/girlfriends who think because they are hiding their sorry asses in cyberspace that they are not cheating

         * the genitalia-deficient males who insist they possess members to rival that of King Kong and want to “show” you on cam

         * those drunks/drugged individuals who believe they are somehow far more clever and entertaining when they are under the influence of one or many substances and insist on monopolizing any modicum of decent chat in existence

         * the “you love me, I love me, the world loves me” guys/gals who believe they are the Almighty’s gift to the planet

         * the cam guys/gals who incessantly post their advertisements over, and over, and over, ad nauseum until some bot finally clicks in and boots their sorry ass out of the room; sadly many return to inundate the room with their pathetic begging until something clicks in their tiny brains that they aren’t getting lucky that night

         * those who insist on typing symbols etc in a vain attempt to attract attention and validate their sorry existence

        * the “Please teach me English so that I can perv you in your own language” guys/gals who believe that if you offer them the tiniest bit of assistance it means you are now engaged to them for life

         * the individuals who believe that, because you said “Hello” to them, that you are now their best friend for life; especially those from other countries who do not possess good command of the English language and who believe that a “hello” constitutes a marriage acceptance

         * those who make lewd suggestions and insist on chatting about topics that are not appropriate for public consumption and then hide behind their apparent misunderstanding of the English language and beg forgiveness, until the next sentence they type

        * the pervs who lurk and send “hey baby wanna see me naked [or any other dumbass offer]” private messages to everyone listed in the room who might remotely be a member of the opposite sex

        * anyone who sends private messages to people they don’t know, without getting permission first, and then has the audacity to get pissed off if that person doesn’t reply or says no

        * the basement-dwelling social deviants who insist on tossing out their lewd suggestions to the room, again in a vain attempt to have their existence validated

        * the racist skinheads who spew forth misguided propaganda spoon-fed to them by their equally dumbass parents/influences in their shallow lives

         * the “My country is better than your country”, “My country kicked your country’s ass way back in the day”, “My country will kick your ass today” puppets who fill the room with their sleep-inducing blah blah blah

         * those who arrive in the room but lack the intelligence to contribute to chat, except to say: I’m so bored!

         * those who chat with one or two words, apparently only possessing a vocabulary of a dozen words and unable to manage the use of more than one or two at a time; perhaps they think if they string three or four words together to, dare I write it, form an actual sentence,  the sky would fall

         * the ‘rah rah rah’ people who inundate the rooms with their “We won, you lost!” babble, over and over again until someone kicks them out of the room or one of the other monosyllabic cretins gets into a word fight with them  -- probably one of the “My country is better than your country” people

This list is, in no way, complete, and I shall add to it occasionally.

If you were wondering whether I thought YOU were an idiot, check the list. If you do not see yourself in that list, then you are NOT what I consider to be an idiot.

© 2008 Tallulah