I am Tallulah

This journal is my wee piece of cyberspace. Most entries are public. Comments are welcome but tread softly, lest you bruise me with your words.

Name: Tallulah
Location: Planet Earth

Entries for June, 2007

June 8, 2007

Friday evening

It is Friday evening and I am in the midst of finalizing plans for my trip this summer. Hard to believe it is only 20 days before I am in UK! This trip has taken on a life of it's own, morphing from spending the summer in the UK to spending July in the UK, and August in Switzerland.

We won't even talk about the money! My credit card will get a real workout this year. I'll be in debt for the next ten years unless I win a lottery.

Actually, I plan to do some serious house clearing when I return in September. I have way too much stuff and would love to sell it. Maybe I will look into holding an acution, or just sell the stuff on ebay. I'd like to actually get a stall at the annual flea market in middle September, and then sell all that I can there. Whatever is left I could sell on ebay.

This summer will be a working holiday for me. I plan to take lots of pictures with the hope of creating a coffee table book which I hope to market online. Fribourg is particularly picturesque, from what I've seen of it online. Plus I will be working on a children's story and accompanying drawings. If I can, I'd love to do a few articles to send home to the daily newspaper (I will need the cash!)

I'm looking forward to meeting friends of course, and getting to see how their lives are. Scary in a way, though, because it is hard to really know someone you've only talked to online or on the phone. Mind you, that goes for people you meet in person too.

I may not have as much computer access in Fribourg. The studio I am staying in does not have computer hookup. I am trying to sort something out but it's all very complicated for me. Thank goodness for smart friends!

So, as of this moment, I am leaving Canada 27th June, and will arrive in UK the 28th June. I will be visiting Grimsby and Newcastle, and maybe a quickie trip over to Ireland to see Barry and the boys. On 31st July I will leave UK for Paris, where I will board a train for the journey to Fribourg, Switzerland. There will be many planes and trains on this journey, far more than I originally thought there would be. In one sense, the trip has gotten out of hand. However, it's an adventure and I sorely need a real adventure in my life, so money be damned, I am headed out to see the world, or at least that part of the world.

I have learned a lot in this process, and feel next trip I will be better able to make the preparations myself. Less stress that way. I also learned that I bought the wrong luggage, and what luggage is really needed. So many little things I never knew about. Now I have what I need, hopefully, so I'll be better prepared for the next big adventure.

What am I saying? I haven't even left on this adventure! For all I know the plane will drop into the ocean, or crash into a mountain and there will be no more adventures!

So, with travel plans finally done, and computer plans almost sorted, I am ready for the adventure to begin.

Stay tuned!

June 10, 2007

Sunday afternoon

Am feeling a growing anxiety... stress... wish I could just grab the backpack, get on the plane, and go. All this planning, waiting, preparing, sorting, obsessing is crap!

Just get out and do it!

Sort of goes with the state of my life. Organized chaos is my forté, but I have become burdened with too much stuff and that is messing with my head. Need to lighten the load. Sell off anything, dump anyone, that does not fill my life with passion and happiness. Am tired of living this half life, going about the motions as if it is all ok when inside I am screaming to be set free. The inner me demands to be seen AND heard.

The changes are still swirling around me, but they have become more subtle, not the in-your-face-you-can't-escape kind of changes that have filled the last almost three years. These changes are hovering, waiting, expecting, taunting even. Having taken the tentative first steps off the beaten path, will I have the strength of my convictions, the courage to actually follow my own destiny?

Am I putting too much emphasis on this journey? It is something I have never done before, and it is a huge step. That is my way, to run before I have barely begun to walk. I don't know if this is right or wrong, but I do know I have to continue this journey and see where it takes me. Hopefully I will find what I am searching.

I hope it's not too late.